Friday, July 14, 2017

Keep Me Humble

On Sunday, I stood before clergy, my family, my friends, my congregations and the people of my flock and made promises. I promised to hear and accept the word of God, I promised to be diligent in my private prayers and reading of scripture, I promised to be zealous in speaking the truth in love, I promised to be faithful in preaching, teaching and administering sacraments, and in exercising pastoral care and leadership, I promised to keep silent all confidences, and I promised to regard all people with equal love. I made all of these promises relying on God’s grace.

But before I could make these promises, I spent three-and-a-half years proving I was worthy of God’s call upon my life. And prior to those three years I spent a couple of years running away from God and telling myself and others that I wasn’t special enough.
Though I can understand why we must truly be certain this is a true calling from God and not some personal agenda, this process also made me understand why I have encountered pastors struggling with their ego. When you spend the beginning of ministry trying to prove to others that you are prepared to do God’s work, it’s difficult to be humble.

However, this week spent on the other side has been humbling. I thought that my emotions would calm down and my tears would dry up. Instead I am in awe of the work I get to do and who I get to work with. These amazing people who picked me out of eighty-eight possibilities. The people who love and support me before I even officially become their pastor. These beautiful people who are full of excitement and hope chose me to lead them in God’s work. Five years ago, I would never have guessed my journey would bring me to this point. 

God, I beg of you, keep me humble. Amen.