A Mom to Her Sons: Be Better than the NFL

As a Mom and a mother of boys, I am very concerned that the NFL, with its failure to deal with violence against women by its players, could very well be sending the message to our youth that domestic violence is acceptable.

I want my young sons to learn they need to be better than the NFL.  But it is not easy to teach that when these sports figures and teams are so influential.  The NFL seems to forget that their fan base is not only men, but also young boys. My nine-year-old has taken it upon himself to watch documentaries on footballs past players and super bowls. He has found his own team that he follows, the Arizona Cardinals, mostly because he admires wide receiver, Larry Fitzgerald. My son can hold an adult conversation on football past and football present and he can tell you any known fact about Fitzgerald you would ever want to know. And I am sure that my son cannot be that unique. I am sure there are other mom’s out there whose home is filled with football talk.

This violence is everywhere in the sport it seems, and it is as severe as in the video of Ray Rice spitting on and then knocking out his then fiance, now wife. And after reading about pros Greg Hardy from the Carolina Panthers and Ray McDonald of the San Francisco 49ers, who also have domestic violence charges against them, I am convinced that the NFL has a real epidemic on their hands. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell originally suspended Rice for two games but then suspended him indefinitely after the video was released to the public. Now the NFL is being accused that they had the video for 5 months, an accusation that they are denying. 

It is one thing to educate our girls on how domestic violence is not okay, to not sit in silence and that there is help available, but it is more important to teach our boys that mistreatment of others is never okay; not just violence, but spitting, yelling and using degrading words. And it is not okay for the NFL to make it okay for their football players. Because these players, if they want to be or not, are role models for our youth.

As a Christian lay leader, I know our churches have to help with this education. Ever since the misinterpretation of the Old Testament scripture of Adam and Eve and the fall, women have been oppressed, despite the fact that this misinterpretation was cleared up in the New Testament in 1 Corinthians 11: 11-12 “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. For just as a woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God.”

The NFL already exploits the sexuality of women with their barely dressed cheerleaders and their sexual image filled commercials because sex sells. And everything is all about money. Unfortunately for parents and church leaders, it gets harder and harder to raise children with the right message when they are bombarded with the wrong one. And if you read some of the comments from young men football fans who support Rice with comments like, “and that’s how you keep your woman in check” you’ll see exactly what message they have gotten.

As a woman of faith and as a mom of one of your admirers, I pray for you Larry Fitzgerald. I pray that whatever situations your lifestyle brings you, that you are able to make the right choices and exemplify Jesus like character, because young boys are watching you.

But to the young boys and men, my message is this: you need to be better than the NFL.